Persuading the Opinionated Person by Kevin Hogan
Here is the most recent article from Kevin Hogan. It addresses a topic everybody has faced at some time…persuading the opinionated person.
Influence the Opinionated Person Most people are opinionated about certain things. Those things are where the person has their identity pinned to. Trying to change something that is related to someone identity is something that requires a delicate balance of emotional and rational approach.Never think of an opinionated person as opinionated. Instead, recognize that they are opinionated about THIS because this is about who they are as a person.
Trying to change part of someone’s identity is basically the same as saying these things:1. “You are wrong for being you.”2. “You need to be changed.”3. “I know what’s best so I will change you and you can comply.”When should you have someone speak their mind in a persuasive communication?:
f your potential client is going to be moderately opposed to an idea you are about to present, then having them present their disagreements will help reduce resistance.
You however should never become disagreeable in the presence of your potential client while a zealot is present.A zealot is someone who is going to have strong opinion that differs from what you are going to present. The zealot’s arguments only reinforce the zealot’s own certainty about a topic causing them to dig their heels in deeper.
If your potential client is the zealot, never ask for their verbal opinion or begin to debate the issue or any other subject with them.When someone is strongly opposed to an idea you present the person will counter-argue and will become MORE resistant short AND long term because of the argument.Quick “Getting in Their Shoes” Scenario:You are religion X.You are very committed to religion X.If someone says that religion X is bad or not “right”, you resist that.You become “aroused.” Irritated, angry, upset, fearful…emotional
Then what happens? Remember: You are committed to X.Therefore you are being threatened!What happens?You will COUNTERARGUE fight to DEFEND.We are attached to our belief. Our commitment.The greater the commitment to X whatever it may be, the greater the arousal to the threat of changing the attitude.Therefore if you want to reduce resistance and possibly get to yes, you must reduce arousal.”HOW do you reduce arousal?”